PART I - Śrī Guru and Śrī Guru Sevā
1. How did you meet Śrīla Gurudeva?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: Śrīla Gurudeva came to Badger in 1996, when I was 8 years old. Everyone would go to listen to him speak at the pandal. I would sit in the back with my parents and color my devotional coloring books. Even though I was not paying attention, I heard some of Śrīla Gurudeva's harikatha. After the class and drama plays, Śrīla Gurudeva would hand out cookies, and we children were given the cookies first. I did not realize that Śrīla Gurudeva is a pure devotee, and I was very shy, but I also really wanted cookies. So I would line up with the other children and receive cookies from his lotus hands. One time I brought my Rādhārāṇī doll, and he gave me a cookie for Her, too! You can see it in a video on Youtube. I am the only kid who did not pay obeisance...☹
Haridas Prabhu: I met Śrīla Gurudeva on Houston in 2009. I had gotten books of Śrīla Gurudeva from a deceased life member in ISKCON and the desire to meet Gurudeva stemmed from my desire to share harikatha was nurtured in ISKCON LA unbeknownst to me from Śrīla Gurudeva śikṣā disciples. So, when the opportunity to meet Śrīla Gurudeva presented itself I wanted to meet him.
2. What specialty of Śrīla Gurudeva do you cherish most?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: This is a very difficult question, and I am not sure how to answer it. How can I choose just 1 thing? The thing that always struck me personally about Śrīla Gurudeva is, he was very merciful and motherly towards me. I was one of the last of the Badger kids to get harināma from him of the original Badger gurukula, I think, and I lived with relatives who were not always favorable to Gurudeva. Plus, I was shy. So, I felt very alone sometimes, and I did not know how to approach Gurudeva, nor did I have any family members or group to approach him with. But I was encouraged by friends and older devotees, as well as my father whom I did not live with, so I got opportunities to speak with Śrīla Gurudeva and interact with him.
Anyway, so what strikes me is how motherly Gurudeva was to me. He would give me these loving glances from far away that would communicate so much. One specific time after I took forever to take off a difficult pair of shoes, he waited for me and let me touch his lotus feet. And when I stood up and looked at him, he shook his head at me and smiled, in a very loving way. He accepted me with all of my faults and inadequacies, and I continue to fail to serve him in any truly inspired and heartfelt manner. But he keeps giving me service and mercy. I am always the behind devotee, the debauchee disciple, the miscreant who is blank faced after a class that inspired others, who does not understand any important tattva, and sleeps in and misses chances to serve. But he keeps bringing me back. Such is his mercy and love.
Haridas Prabhu: The specialty of Gurudeva I cherish the most is the one-pointed service to the servant of the servant of Śrī Rūpa Mañjarī and how he expanded the pastimes of Vrindavan and made them accessible to all.
3. In what capacity are you currently serving Śrīla Gurudeva?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: By the grace of Śrīla Gurudeva and his stalwart followers, my dīkṣā-guru Śrīpād Bhaktivedanta Mādhava Mahārāja and Śrīmatī Syamarani Didi, I am engaged in sevā for the art book, I sometimes get to transcribe harikatha, and I am trying to become a good kīrtanīyā. I have been encouraged by other vaiṣṇavas as well.
Haridas Prabhu: The capacity I am serving Śrīla Gurudeva now is by deepening my appreciation of the conception Gurudeva came to give to us: to aspire after the moods of the Vraja Devīs. I am doing more in depth studying in my spare time and I am calling all my friends and trying to discuss books like Jaiva Dharma, Going Beyond Vaikuṇṭha, as well as glorify our ācāryas. One of my favorite activities is to talk about the love that two saints have for each other. I also serve by caring for newer devotees and trying to read with them and going out on harināma sankirtan.
PART II - Journey in practice
4. Have you ever experienced any challenges or obstacles limiting your bhakti practices?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: Yes.
When I was a teenager after getting harināma from Śrīla Gurudeva, I was surrounded by people unfavorable to Śrīla Gurudeva. I was very scared and shy, but also obedient to my elders, so even though they were offensive or misinformed about Śrīla Gurudeva, I feared to try to defend him or express my love for him in front of them. So, I kept silent a lot and I hid my Gurudeva books.
Furthermore, as a disciple of Śrīla Bhaktivedanta Mādhava Mahārāja, I have overheard offensive talk from some about him and other stalwart followers of Śrīla Gurudeva, and have had to walk away, since I am not knowledgeable enough to defeat them with śāstra. This has been extremely hurtful for me, to hear these very elevated devotees maligned and assumed to be ordinary.
But of course, the topmost obstacle to my bhakti practices is my own self, for I am a great servant of Māyā.
Haridas Prabhu: The obstacles limiting my practice have stemmed from past conceptions that I was attached to stemming from my previous identity before bhakti, my bad association, and bad habits. So, I had previously seen it was better to sacrifice myself for the happiness of others and how it was okay if others used and abused me, and eventually seeing in a present matter how I tried to make someone happy it, did not seem to make a difference. So, I went internal and tried to have an Intimate relationship with Śrī Guru within the core of my heart. Eventually, I began to see my body as an instrument to serve Śrī Guru and thus it should be cared for with love and affection.
4a. Could you please briefly share about them and how you overcame them?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: Associating with like-minded devotees and maintaining a small group of devotees I associate with has helped me to overcome the obstacles.
5. What nourishes you most in your bhakti practices?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: The vaiṣṇavas and vaisnavis that are stalwarts in our saṅga worldwide, attendance of the holy parikramas, chanting, asking questions to my seniors, and having a small circle of devotee peers that sincerely desire to chant, read, and progress on the path of bhakti, nourish me in my bhakti practice.
Haridas Prabhu: What nourishes me most in spiritual practices is when devotees are authentic and there is a harmonious mood with room for self-expression. Also, when no one will check the service tendency and will encourage this mood more and more. I am also inspired by those with eagerness to hear about the love of the Vrajabasis for Kṛṣṇa.
6. You both are in gṛhasta ashram. What challenges have you faced and what advice would you give to others looking to enter this ashram?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: My foremost challenge is pride and a lack of taste, so I frequently do not want to attend programs, read, etc., but Haridas is always eager for these things so he helps me to attend these things; then by associating with the devotees and seeing their greatness, I find some drop of humility perhaps. We have faced the challenges of disagreements, and the gṛhastha trouble of having one foot in the material world and one foot in the trying-to-be-a-devotee world. Balance can be difficult.
My advice would be to stay under guidance of the Vaishnavas and Vaishnavis that are elevated devotees, as well as older devotee couples. We got some wonderful advice from Kishori Mohan Prabhu and Sudevī Didi that stays in my mind: Do not critique and watch for the bhakti practices of your partner, i.e., do not nag them about their rounds, etc. I have found that this has helped us, trying to follow that advice.
Haridas Prabhu: The challenges I have faced in gṛhasta is keeping the abhimāna that I am śakti of bhagavān and not a controller and that I need to assist a person in serving their highest aspiration as opposed to serving my mundane desires.
The advice I would give to others is that being right is not important and that to slow down your interactions so that the person feels that when they are talking that you are invested. To take time to check in with one another and to be able to confide in one another is essential so that we do not carry the world's troubles on our backs. If we have loving dealings and our hearts are soft then it is such a joy to come together and serve Harikatha, Thakurji and Vaiṣṇavas together.
6a. What do you love most about the other when it comes to your bhakti practices?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: I love his eagerness to find out more about progressing in this path of bhakti, as well as his eagerness to read and hear harikatha. And his dancing!
Haridas Prabhu: The thing I like the most about Chaitanya Shakti is that when she is in her element and expressing the truth of her heart, my heart gets moved and charmed and I see a tender- and soft-hearted flower with such a nice scent that Gurudeva will want to pluck. She brings out a spontaneous desire to care and serve her and I am learning to sacrifice and not keep her for myself.
6b. Do you have plans for children? How do you foresee raising children in Kṛṣṇa consciousness?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: We are not sure about this yet. If we continue to interact with the material world via 9-5 jobs, we do not see ourselves having the energy and time to cultivate a devotional child. But, if we lived in a farm community living simply amongst other devotees, we could see ourselves having 1-2 children.
Haridas Prabhu: I have plans to have kids if I can live in a communal setting and they can run around barefoot climbing trees having pirate fights. Oh, I would be a great father and I am quite naturally suited for it so it would be a great joy.
PART III - Life
7. When you both are not engaged in your various sevas, how are you spending your time? Do you both work? Have hobbies?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: I like to write and bake. He sometimes watches sports or wrestling. We both like to be in nature and talk to each other, with and without friends. We both work most of the week and have different weekends.
Haridas Prabhu: The way I spend my days is I work at night and I try to sit and chant 24 rounds at work and read and discuss Harikatha for 2 hours at work. I get up at 1:30 pm and I run errands or go to gym and listen Harikatha. I like sports and anime if I need to distract myself. I also like any activity that stimulates my imagination, so I still am very much a child at heart. I entertain myself very easily and I do not need to go out into the world to find satisfaction so much.
8. What are your goals for future development, in both life and bhakti?
Chaitanya Shakti Didi: We see ourselves working less and living in a devotional farm community within the next 2-3 years. We want to travel and serve together or separately with the vaiṣṇavas/vaisnavis, such as Śrīpād Bhaktivedanta Mādhava Mahārāja, Śrīpād Bhaktivedanta Āśrama Mahārāja, Śrīmatī Syamarani Didi, the Gangamatas, etc. Together, we want to do book distribution and harināma saṅkīrtana, and live a simple farming life. We want to read and study scripture with a group of like-minded devotees.
Haridas Prabhu: My goal in bhakti is to live with those cultivating this exclusive mood of one pointedness to Śrīmatī Rādhikā and her nearest and dearest, whom have a family mood full of love and concern for one another and to live off the land expressing the love we feel for our hearts’ treasure. I want to simplify my existence so that I can chant 64 rounds very nicely and to make my life more about going deeper into the conceptions that my sweet Gurudeva so wanted us to imbibe. If I can begin to focus on preaching and trying to give what I have been given according to my eligibility and serving the Vaishnavas with gratitude and wholeheartedness, then this will be a wellspring that I can always draw inspiration from. In life I am not materially useful, yet I am a person who enjoys being submissive to the desire of others so am like a mule in many ways. So, I do not have much in terms of material aspirations perhaps a hot tub. Just to live the love I feel and to receive the love others feel within their hearts.